Trauma: Israel, Alcohol and Healing
08.4.2014
I’ve been thinking lately about trauma. On the world stage, in the lives of people I know, and in my own life.
Let’s start with Israel. If you have the slightest bit of historical understanding or psychological sensitivity, you feel how deep the trauma was, and still is, for Jews.
How insane the Holocaust.
How profoundly traumatizing that even one individual would want you exterminated. But that a political leader could marshal a whole nation, then other nations as well, in trying to kill not just you, but all your relatives, all your people, and then proceed to do so—that is horror itself.
How can a people heal from such trauma?
Because the trauma must be healed, or it will be turned inward in self-destruction, or outward in scapegoating, bullying.
This trauma is not simply an unprecedented madness of the 1930s and 1940s. Its roots are deep, and evident in the literature of centuries past.
I recently re-read Tolstoy’s “The Kreutzer Sonata,” written in the 1880s. There is one passage in the short story that disturbed me: an incident where the narrator goes into a train car with a Jew, and the depiction echoed other disdainful portraits I’ve read in plays (Shakespeare’s) and fiction by—say it—other Christian authors.
How to understand this hostility? Does it go back (I think it does) to the story of Christ’s life, as a Jew who (it was said) was betrayed by one of his Jewish disciples?
It seems to me it can only be seen clearly from the detached and comprehensive perspective of myth: religion itself as a myth unfolding through time.
The Christian era of Pisces, the fish: two brothers swimming in opposite directions, so close, yet from a certain limited perspective, with opposing values, competing with each other.
Christianity, which seems to float above the body and earth (sex as sin, emphasis on the afterlife, the spiritual valued over earthly life).
Judaism, more practical, earth-bound (no belief in the afterlife, no cremation, rather burial in the earth).
If the story goes that the Jews “killed” Christ, and for 2,000 years Christ’s suffering is framed as the essential mythical event in Christianity, then towards the end of that era of time, Christianity’s shadow side seeks “revenge” through the Holocaust.
How do any of us deal with trauma?
Someone I love (I will disguise the details here) experienced a horrific trauma involving death and bodily injury. She seemed to be handling it well. Except for excessive drinking. Now she is dying from the effects of alcohol.
An acquaintance (a former alcoholic) recently turned on someone he called his best friend, blaming her for ruining an event because of information she lacked. He, who had been her mentor, a sacred trust, sent her insulting e-mails designed to humiliate her, and tried to shame her publicly for an inadvertent mistake. Ah, I’m sorry, I can’t fill in any details, because this woman, a friend, confided in me.
My own trauma: I’ve described it elsewhere, but it had to do with coming of age when women were undervalued and barred because of inner and outer obstacles from following their passion in their work. (I’m not talking here about earning a living, but choosing the work of your daimon, your deepest passion.)
I healed that trauma by doing a vision quest that took about 25 years (and no, it is not too strong a word; it involved deconstructing familial and societal taboos against fulfillment in work—which seems to me to be half of what makes anyone human).
What can any of us do with trauma?
It seems to me there are three main paths: you turn it inwards on yourself and self-destruct (there are so many paths available!).
You turn it outwards on another individual or country, and become a bully, and try to scapegoat, shame, destroy the other (so many paths available!).
Or you heal.
Israel has become a bully.
So has the dry drunk we know.
A beloved friend has almost destroyed herself.
I was born to be a writer, yet only found the inner permission to focus deeply on writing after doing my vision quest. Not too much time really, given the centuries of patriarchal injury to women. How lucky I was to be born in my generation. Very few women of my mother’s and grandmother’s generations were able to free themselves to take seriously the work they were born to do. But that’s another post.
* * *
P. S. I’m too immersed in writing fiction now to write as often on Paris Play, but I’ll post when I’m so moved.
P. P. S. Richard got his suitcase back in Crete.
Reader Comments (15)
Brilliant. Sometimes I want to share with the fighting world what I remember our mother saying, "I don't CARE who started this fight.
Who can stop it?" Perhaps it doesn't work toward deep personal healing but it stops more trauma and we could all do with a bit more
peace in our lives.
Thank you K & R for sharing your tenderness and creativity and vision.
Hugs,
Suki
Ah, dearest Suki, thank you so much for this. And I'm glad to hear of something I never heard our mother say.
To stop harming oneself; to stop bullying others: each is already a step along the path to healing.
Oh, for peace in the world! Oh, for inner peace!
Much love to you and Fred,
Kaaren and Richard
Yes, there is trauma, everywhere it seems. And, it has always been there. What is most horrible reenactment of the trauma with projections.. as you so beautifully describe. The daimon can be both angel, or demon, and the healing can feel like a crisis. Your observation that "Christianity’s shadow side seeks “revenge” through the Holocaust." is very interesting. And, I love all the photographs here, especially the dark silhouette of the cross on a roof top, draping the side of the stone building -- wonderful. Thanks for the provocative post!
Carole,
We know more than one Carole, so you must tell us which one you are! Yes, daimon IS both angel and demon, and healing is a long protracted crisis. You know, of course, that the Chinese ideogram for crisis also means opportunity.
That photo is my favorite of Richard's offerings in this post. I was startled by how perfectly it illustrates the text. And strangely, two other photos he used were ones he took just yesterday. This often happens, synchronicity, same wavelength: what one of us is writing about the other is photographing, without any discussion.
I think I know which Carole you are, but want to be sure.
Love to you,
Kaaren and Richard
Israel a bully? I don't think so. I often wonder how we in the U.S. would feel if there were a powerful organization here in our country devoted to the destruction of Israel and killing all Jews. What would we do or say if someone from that sect were elected to office?
Hamas hasn't seen fit to build shelters for its people, although they sure are spending a lot on those well-equipped tunnels, some built under schools and mosques. No, so long as Hamas's openly stated goal is the destruction of Israel and death to all Jews there is no alternative for Israel.
But then, how often has this happened since time immemorial? One sect hating another -- to the death. It's a habit with religion. We were lucky in this country. Our founding fathers were strongly opposed to religion being a part of government and angry about religious dogma. Adams: "Touch a solemn truth in collision with the dogma of a sect, though capable of clearest proof, and you will soon find you have disturbed a nest, and the hornets will swarm about your legs and hands, and fly into your face and eyes." Jefferson: "Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch toward uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half of the world fools, the other half hypocrites. To support roguery and error all over the earth."
The abused chilld often grows up to be the abusive parent. Shame on them!
Malika,
Yes, you are right. But I think it's more shame IN them than on them. Shame that wants to be done with that feeling by projecting itself outwards on others. Instead, it needs to be healed.
Sending you and Daniel big hugs,
Kaaren and Richard
Hi, Ruth,
I never figure everyone is going to agree with everything said in these essays, but I hope my exploration of these interlinked ideas prompts thought.
Richard and I are right in step with you, and Adams, and Jefferson on the destructive madness of fundamentalism, in any religion or sect. Joseph Campbell made the point over and over again that a Promised Land (to use but one example) was a metaphor. Yet every day people are dying because of the literal interpretation of that metaphor.
Love to you and Playa del Rey. Looking forward to seeing you here someday.
Kaaren and Richard
Dearest Ones,
The Jews have been hated much longer than the advent of Christianity. Over the millennia, the rebuilding of the temple at Jerusalem caused beaucoup problems. And the book of Esther tells the story of a beautiful woman who marries a powerful king. When the king (through an advisor) decrees that all the Jews in his kingdom are to be killed, she has to reveal that she herself is a Jew.
Since Jesus was a Jew, as were all his apostles and early followers, one would think that the ancient hatred would have ended. And Hitler was many things, but a Christian wasn't one of them. That hatred is beyond religion.
On a personal note, I find it curious that we human beings can't keep our own relationships together for any substantial length of time. We make 'lasting vows' and break them — then we are gobsmacked when neighboring nations can't get along.
Heartbreaking. But not surprising.
Kaaren, I'm obviously of a different mindset, but still, your words are so touching. And Richard. The photos. Damn, dude!
P.S. And this morning we wake up to the news that the U.S. has just bombed Islamic state forces in northern Iraq.
(Insert F word here.)
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars. But in ourselves…."
Dear Anna,
You are right that Hitler was not a Christian in the true sense of the word. More of a perverted Christian, as in the Nazi photos and articles in this link about his belief that he was Christian, and the Catholic church's involvement with Nazism. (The Protestant church, too.)
<http://www.nobeliefs.com/Hitler1.htm>
For those who don't have time to read any of this, just open Nazi Photos. There was an appalling collusion between the Pope and Hitler in the '30s.
I don't mind a bit that we have differing mindsets. I admire yours. You are true to your faith, your marriage vows, and your friends. Rare indeed.
Richard thanks you, and so do I.
Love,
Kaaren & Richard
Sent by e-mail from David Greenberg; posted by us with his consent:
hi kaaren, thanks for saying what you said. It is of course true. It is also true that all the deaths in the middle east are caused by religious conflict and will only be solved when the religious leaders help. thanks, david
David,
It's strange when someone says something that is brilliant, obviously true, yet no one else is saying it. That's how what you're saying strikes me. Most of us expect political leaders to solve the Gaza tragedy, but why haven't they done so yet? Because the spiritual vision is missing. There are fanatical religious convictions operating in this conflict. Perhaps a more spacious spiritual perspective is needed.
Imagine, for instance, the Dalai Lama being asked to advise Israeli and Palestinian governments on what to do, and agreeing to do it. Would it be a fair and compassionate path for both states? My guess is it would be.
Maybe we need to go beyond divisive religion altogether.
Thanks for commenting, David.
Love,
Kaaren & Richard
The worst thing in the three quotes below is that Hitler considered Christians 'a temporary ally.' That's beyond shameful. Hitler, however, was an opportunist who didn't see how any religion, including Christianity, could jibe with Nazi ideology in the long run.
There are websites that use his propaganda to claim he was a believer. That's like saying Nixon was devout because he said 'God bless America.' All one has to do to see who Nixon really was is to listen to the Nixon tapes. (Or watch Nixon on Nixon on HBO. Excellent.)
The only reason that Hitler's Christianity or lack thereof is important at all is because WWII sometimes gets classified as a 'religious war,' which it wasn't in any way, shape or form. God knows there've been plenty of wars waged in the name of religion…but there've been plenty that haven't been. (Human beings can be war-mongering even in the absence of religious faith!)
"Hitler repeatedly stated that Nazism was a secular ideology founded on science, which in the long run could not "co-exist with religion".
"Alan Bullock wrote that even though Hitler frequently employed the language of "divine providence" in defence of his own myth, he ultimately shared with the Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin, a materialist outlook, "based on the nineteenth century rationalists' certainty that the progress of science would destroy all myths and had already proved Christian doctrine to be an absurdity".
According to Geoffrey Blainey, when the Nazis became the main opponent of Communism in Germany, Hitler saw Christianity as a temporary ally.[17]
Anna,
You are 100% correct. The analogy with Nixon is apt. Flag-waving is not true compassion, which is the essence of Christianity, of all religions really.
Rational materialism: that's it. An utter absence of connection with the spiritual. Nothing but ego-centric power-grabbing and greed.
Thank you for the clarity of your seeing.
Much love,
Kaaren and Richard