Roots and Branches
05.18.2011 
It is fascinating to see how, in moving to another continent, the web of relationships and rituals in my life continues in certain respects, and in others is broken. I could never have predicted how my most treasured relationships would grow deeper, the thread between us stronger, in spite of the distance between us.
Yet in another sense, what I assumed would continue unbroken--certain rituals of daily activity, created over the years and made effortless by repetition--must be recreated here in Paris as if they’d never existed.
The web of relationships continues in Paris. Here I see an acupuncturist, Helen Divov, who was recommended by Dr. Maoshing Ni, my acupuncturist in Los Angeles. Dr. Mao and Helen were trained together some years ago in Los Angeles. After practicing there, Helen fell in love with a Frenchman and moved to Paris.
In our last session, I told her how hard I’m finding it to recreate certain habits here that were second nature a few months ago in the U.S. For instance, stretching in the morning. Lifting weights. Avoiding certain foods that I’ve found are best for me to avoid. Fitting in errands. Getting enough sleep.
It was the same way for her, she said, during her first year in Paris. Her eating habits changed, and her exercise rituals were no longer in place.
Helen sees patients in a small, lovely courtyard apartment in Paris, then spends the weekends at her home in the country. She’s a devoted gardener, and told me a story of how, gardening one day, she noticed that a tree she'd replanted a year earlier had not put out leaves or flowers.
Then, suddenly, during the second year, it was full of green and flowers too.
She realized that the first year a tree is giving all of its energy into putting down roots. Then it can reach out and up with its branches and leaves. And she saw that it was the same with human beings. In our first year in a new place, most of our energy is invisibly putting down new roots; then we can return to all the ways we’ve found to support our own blossoming.
Reader Comments (10)
Where is this beautiful tree? Love this post ! Kind of puts in perspective that all my energy is going into dealing with the pain of an arthritic hip and that hopefully after surgery (June 2) I can get back to putting my house and life in order !
Love to you
Betsy S
Yes, yes, yes... We have been in our house in Abq for nearly a year now, and I am just beginning to feel like I live here. (Mad spring gardening helps!) I think of this with writing as well - the expectation of the time it will take, and the actual time. The necessity for a root structure before blossoms appear. Writing, moving, gardening... my three main subjects, it seems. Thanks, Kaaren!
Hi Betsy,
This tree is a cherry tree in Le Jardin des Plantes. We saw it on an otherwise difficult day that I wrote about in an earlier post. We'd tried to get into the zoo and the Museum of Natural History that day but the lines were too long. So instead we walked in the garden and gazed at trees. This cerisier was so full of blossoms that it was swarmed by hundreds of bees and by fascinated people on all sides. Richard loves this photo precisely because so many people are deeply focused on a relationship with the tree.
Do you know about the surgeon in Phoenix who can do hip surgery and have you walking the next day? He's pioneered a new technique that is revolutionizing this kind of surgery. If you're interested, I'll get the information from my mother.
Go easy on yourself until you get through this, then you can swim and garden all summer!
Thank you for your message!
Love,
Kaaren (& Richard)
Connie,
Isn't it mind-boggling how long it takes to find new paths in a new place? Just finding stores for the supplies you need. We finally found the store today that has Moleskin notebooks of every size. Last month, I found a woman who really knows how to cut hair. I can't quite join the gym yet, too much beauty to see outdoors. The infrastructure needs to be in place before you can find your daily rhythm in a new place.
I wish I were a gardener, but my destiny seems to be to appreciate that gift in others. And what blossoms you're creating in Albuquerque! May the gardening and writing continue to bloom.
Love,
Kaaren (& Richard)
Oh, what a gorgeous photo of a gorgeous tree! Simply stunning! And, yes, I can see why Richard would love this... look at how attentive and awed these people are, both young and old.
And dear Kaaren, strong wisdom here about the energy of putting down roots. I remember when I moved to L.A. from the Midwest (where I had lived all of my life). In some ways, I felt like I adapted almost instantly, but in deeper ways it indeed took at least a year, actually longer. But you are right... it is about patience, and growth, and living fully in ways that feed your spirit. And you and Richard certainly are doing this! Such an inspiration, you both are!
Lots of love,
dawna
I move so much -- maybe that's why my routines and schedules are always a bit off. Never thought about it. But of course you're right: and what a beautiful way to tell it, that managed to encompass that cherry tree....
Dear Dawna,
I wish you could have seen the tree up close. There were so many bees in the blossoms, it was like a conference of bees. I think the people crowded around the cerisier were also marveling at the bees.
it's fascinating to me how you can be somewhat aware of a process of adjustment, then someone describes it with the perfect metaphor, as Helen Divov did with the metaphor of the tree, and it gives you a great sense of relief and acceptance of the process. I remember talking with you about that adjustment to L.A., you coming from the Midwest, I from Santa Fe. It does take at least a year. And then after a while, you can't quite remember living anywhere else.
Miss you and love you,
Kaaren (& Richard)
Dear Anna,
You are the ONLY person I've ever heard say she loves the process of moving, of packing up a house, and settling into a new place. I'll never forget hearing you say that. It stunned me. We were in the midst of packing up our house in Playa del Rey, and it seemed simply impossible to do in the limited time we had. With help, we pulled it off. But I'd be happy to never have to make such a move again. On the other hand, traveling, yes!
Speaking of which... how long will you be in Rome this summer?
Love,
Kaaren (& Richard)
Kaaren and Richard
Thank you for this! Your words and images really spoke to me. I read this last night and again today -- just after moving to a new home four days ago. It wasn't to another continent... just another zip code. I moved eight times in seven years while in Boston, then moved out to CA (and then three more moves within CA), but this move was by far the most dramatic and...unsettling? I cannot imagine adjusting to a new language, culture and continent! And might I say, you seemed to have settled in quite well in terms of hearing your muse, creating, producing, and blooming on the page. Much love, Jennifer
Dear Jennifer,
I’m so glad you read this post right after moving to a new house. I wonder if your recent move was more dramatic and unsettling because it was the first you’ve made with a small child? That makes it more delicate, I would think.
But I love the thought that you’ll have your own writing studio there.
All those moves… wow. It reminds me of my own history, never living anywhere longer than two years, from the time I left Berkeley to the time I settled in Santa Fe at the age of 35. Sometimes all that moving is just a search for where your soul feels at home. Better to keep moving till you find it, than to sink into soil that doesn’t resonate for you.
Yes, creatively Paris has been wonderful for us. It’s the infrastructure that takes a while to re-create. Just finding a doctor, a shampoo that you like, a good health store, a gym, where to buy Moleskin notebooks, and so forth. Trying to resist the 365 cheeses available, one for every day of the year. Finding a rhythm of rituals in which to take care of all the realms of your life. But slowly, it’s happening.
I will picture you easily settling into your new home. You certainly bought at the right time!
Much love,
Kaaren